Do we still think about other people?
A couple of weeks ago there was a conversation at my book club that I haven't been able to stop thinking about.
We had just read 'Yellowface' by R. F. Kuang, which follows the story of a middling author who takes her dead friend's unpublished manuscript about Chinese labourers and publishes it, passing the work off as her own. At each book club we discuss the book for an hour or two and then we go around the circle and give the book a rating out of five. This time someone came up with the idea that along with giving our rating we should share whether or not we would've stolen and published the manuscript.
I was a 'hell no' for touching that manuscript. As someone who journals and whose worst nightmare is someone reading said journal, I couldn't shake the idea of it being a lot like doing that to someone else. It also just felt wrong. The idea of taking someone else's work and taking the credit for it didn't sit right with me.
A lot of answers from the group were along the lines of: "I'd be too worried someone would find out" or "it'd make me too anxious/paranoid".
I couldn't stop thinking about how all these answers focused on the way the perpetrator would feel - their anxiety or their worries, not the feelings of the person they did that to or whether it was the right thing to do.
The difference in approaches to this question really amazed me, and it made me wonder if we still think about other people these days?
It reminded me of a lot of internet discourse I've seen over the last year or two about how people want community in the way it existed 20 years ago or how community just doesn't exist anymore. It also reminded me of a very individualist mindset I've seen popularised online by sayings like "you don't owe anyone anyhing".
I don't agree with any of it.
I think community does still exist, but people aren't willing to make the sacrifices having it requires. Community isn't always convenient. In fact I think a big part of it is inconvenience - you have to be willing to consider others before yourself and do things that benefit the community even if they aren't convenient for you. I think in a world where modern technology has made everything convenient (e.g. online shopping, food delivery, streaming services, instant messaging across a variety of platforms) people aren't as willing to be inconvenienced anymore.
I also think that we do owe people something. I think we owe the people around us (even, or especially, strangers) a certain level of kindness and respect. Otherwise we all just have free rein to be shitty people.
The conversation at book club made me wonder if modern convenience, the rise of social platforms and the technology we have today is making us more individualistic. Are we thinking of ourselves more? Do we still consider other people? Has the amount of time we spent on our phones changed the way we think?
I grew up in a family where we were taught to treat others the way we wished to be treated. I also grew up with parents who, throughout my entire life, have volunteered in numerous community groups - giving up weekends to help run markets or joining the volunteer fire brigade to protect the homes of others during bushfire seasons or scoring community sports games.
I now think I'm incredibly lucky for this because I think this upbringing and the example they set has shaped my entire outlook on life and community.
I'm not saying that the answers given at book club were wrong, or that the people are selfish. I don't think that at all. I'm just fascinated by the different ways we think and I'm more curious than ever about whether there really is a link between our use of technology/rise of convenience and the way we think (or don't think) about others.
Anyway, that's what I've been thinking about lately.